Get Lex.

I don’t hate the fact that things change and life keeps living. Whether you like it or not.

I don’t even hate the fact that I tossed my intuition in the back seat under my yoga mat and behind the pile of dented up baseball caps. I should have known it would have gotten lost back there. Everything does.

I don’t hate the secrets I told you. But I would love if you could forget them. Or it least keep them to yourself.

I promise I don’t hate all the nights of sleep I wasted, but I do feel more rested these days.

I could never hate all the advice I gave you, thanks to you I have time to follow my own now. 

I can’t hate the love we made, I mean sex we had. 

I don’t hate the shit you spit, that wordplay though. I loved it. It wasn’t some corny nonsense like I’ll be the moon to your stars. Just some homie pats on the back no emotions attached just how I hate it. 

No doubts and no fears but a gazillion questions, all answered. 

And I really don’t hate the steps we took, In different shoes, on different paths, you sit I stand, life is living like it’s supposed to be and I love that. 

When the words don’t do the talking, the thoughts stop thinking and the body language is silent. You just press cruise control and hope you get there, get home. Clean with no scratches or bruises and in one piece. 

Words no longer mean a thing. Action is everything and I wait patiently for slight movement. Just slight, sudden means nothing. Sit still. 

I quietly observe not poking or pinching for some affection just silently and patiently waiting. Comfortably sitting Indian style in this love seat, waiting.

Evoking this idea this dream, might take all the energy in the world out of me. Energy I can lose though. It’s the bright yellows, sky blues and fiery reds I need to save. Those 3 are my money makers.

As I draw a heart in the fogged up grey’s and reach to feel the base of it’s beat, it fades away like a dream as it is just the blurred beliefs steaming from my head. You sent them and I forced them back out. 

But i’m silent, and still, and motionless and waiting for someone to take that jump with me, make that leap, say i’m what they need to keep. 

My eyes are closed and my ears are deaf to the tone of your voice.

My body is numb to your touch leaving it necessary to grab me so hard you leave imprints on my hands, I wont mind. Pull my hair, scratch my back. For your words mean nothing and your thoughts I can’t read them. Take half of my mind and some of my body if you need to. 

Just show me the way home. In one piece, ill take the bruises.  

What a beautiful mirage. Dang don’t you hate those.

Looks like something amazing you see looking out of the kitchen window.

The game you can’t wait to join after you finish doing those last few dishes that you promised your mom you would do. 

You can already feel the excitement and of course begged your mom 2 to 3 times  to let you go. Just let you go!  

No way.

It looks so ridiculously entertaining so ridiculously pleasing, everyone playing is so satisfied too. 

Laughing and play fighting and finishing jokes just to tell that same joke the next day.

It’s their joke tho. 

Theirs.

Its like that picture you rip up at immediate frustration then try to piece it together   when reality strikes. 

And your like damn.

This looked pretty when you took it in the back yard, with the sunset behind you and the freshly cheesed smiles.

But damn. 

Look at it now. It was never supposed to stick together like you thought, like you imagined. 

You rushed out there to catch the mirage.

And then it set. 

Disintegrated into thin air like magic. Black Magic. 

Damn, all those feelings and emotions vanishing into the sky connecting with the sunset and creating those colors. 

Happiness for the heavens.

With some left over pinks and purples to engage the thoughts that were left behind. 

Catch up.